Classified Translations

This forum is for discussion of those terms we see in car ads and articles that can be misleading, misunderstood, or misused. The goal is to arrive at definitions we all can agree upon.
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66Lincoupe
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Classified Translations

Post by 66Lincoupe »

Classified Advertisment Translation Chart

If the ad claims…………………..It really means

rough condition………………….too bad to lie about
parts car………………………….beyond repair
immaculate………………………recently washed
concourse………………………..recently waxed
engine quiet……………………..if you use 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul……………needs engine
needs major overhaul……………call the junkyard
burns no oil……………………...it all leaks out
rebuilt engine……………………cleaned the sparkplugs
drive it away…………………….I live on a hill
drive it anywhere………………..within 10 miles
desirable classic…………………no one wants it
rare classic………………………no one wanted it even when it was new
stored 20 years…………………..in a farmer's field
ran when stored…………………won't start
never apart………………………bolts too rounded to loosen
solid as a rock……………………rusted solid
restored, with 0 miles……………won't start
restored, with 2 miles……………won't stay running
older restoration…………………first owner washed it
good investment…………………can't be worth much less
no time to restore it………………can't obtain parts
95% complete……………………other 5% doesn't exist
other interests conflict……………spouse's ultimatum: "either the car goes or I go"
doesn't smoke……………………when it runs out of oil
new slick racing tires…………….I burned the tread to the belts
reupholstered…………………….new Wal-Mart seat covers and floor mats
major performance upgrades…….new chrome exhaust tip
kept in garage……………………so the scratches are from the cat
pampered/adult driven……………I'm 17 and think it's about to die
complete restoration………………new Earl Scheib paint
new paint…………………………don't let it get wet
sporty……………………………..it's got a floor shifter
family car………………………...there's still food under the seats
good school/work car…………….more dents than a golf ball
worth $xxx -sacrifice for $xx……..I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself
lots of extras………………………everything that fell off is in the trunk
quiet engine……………………….you can't hear it over the broken headers
traction control……………………only moves in second gear
race modified……………………..it's got stickers in the back window
exotic……………………………..it leaves a funny taste in your mouth
precision machined……………….I used degreaser
FAST……………………………...ER than my Mom's Geo
Rob
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Dan Szwarc
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by Dan Szwarc »

Don't forget:
mint..............There is a mint under the front seat
cherry............There is a cherry under the front seat
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ReijerLincoln
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by ReijerLincoln »

:D
1964 Lincoln Continental sedan

http://bigfancycar.blogspot.nl/
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TonyC
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by TonyC »

Don't forget "classified": Now the enemy knows! :smt066 :smt067 :smt071 :smt070 :smt068 :smt073

Sorry, couldn't resist that :D .
"Don't believe everything you read on the Internet, just because there is a picture with a quote next to it." (Abraham Lincoln, 1866)
"Question Authority!"

1966 Continental Sedan, affectionately known as "Frankenstein" until body restoration is done (to be renamed "General Sherman" on that event)
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66Lincoupe
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by 66Lincoupe »

TonyC wrote:Don't forget "classified": Now the enemy knows! Sorry, couldn't resist that :D .
;) reminds me of the scene from Airplane!:

Striker : My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow, we're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 18:00 hours. We're coming in from the North, below their radar.

Elaine : When will you be back?

Striker : I can't tell you that... It's classified.
Rob
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TonyC
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by TonyC »

Outstanding! Someone on my wavelength! :smt080 :smt023

I know I've been out here too long now. I'm itching to get back, swap out the dead battery for an O'Reilly battery, and cruise again. :smt025

Oh, how about, "A real head-turner"...............because nobody can believe it can move without a tow truck in front of it. (I get that trash every now and then from my colleagues back home.)
"Don't believe everything you read on the Internet, just because there is a picture with a quote next to it." (Abraham Lincoln, 1866)
"Question Authority!"

1966 Continental Sedan, affectionately known as "Frankenstein" until body restoration is done (to be renamed "General Sherman" on that event)
Oddball
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by Oddball »

Here's a couple I've seen lately--with my interpretation.

Over $[insert dollar figure] invested = That's what it's gonna take for YOU to get it right.

Custom installed... = I used a hammer.

Professionally installed... = I paid my friend and he used a hammer.

After-market = The guy at Pull-A-Part said they would fit.

Completely rewired = There is stuff strung everywhere.

Lowrider project = The frame is shot.

(my personal favorite)

Daily driver = I've bypassed the heater core; the AC clutch is seized;the power steering unit is full of tranny fluid; I've installed a door bell in place of the rim-blow horn; the radiator has more glitter in it than a kindergarten classroom; the choke operates on clothes pins and hanger wire; it smokes like a diesel and runs like one when I turn the key off; I'm on my third battery this month; it needs tires and brakes, the Slick 50 didn't work and I'm sick of having to call my friends for rides when its below freezing or raining.
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66Lincoupe
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Re: Classified Translations

Post by 66Lincoupe »

Completely rewired = There is stuff strung everywhere.
This one is great. The car I just bought had "new harnesses from the firewall forward" according to the receipts and documents I got with the car... After replacing a GM one wire ("custom" made from a standard GM... :roll: ) alternator with the incorrect for the year ('62 should have generator) but correct Ford alternator and regulator I was digging into the harness and found that the "new" harnesses were salvaged replacements with NEW WIRE overlays to fix the circuits that just had poor connections the harness wouldn't fix anyway...

Electrical hackage is my biggest pet peeve, I love to do electrical work on cars. I shudder when I see a rats nest in the corner of an engine compartment. How hard is it to add something cleanly? You have to cut and terminate wires anyway, why not take an extra minute or two and do it right?
Rob
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